LAST UPDATE: April 9, 2008
...One night, I was at a bar with a friend of mine who brought someone along that was a banker. I asked if he'd invest in a movie. He said, "Yeah." I was like, "Holy crap." I told him that I needed 2 million...
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This fantastic tale revolves around MINTY, a youthful, raven haired, punk rock, feminist, female super heroine, that gets her super powers from eating chocolate (which is a good source of antioxidants).
One day Minty's agent, BIG BOSS, an older and honorable gentlemen, is taken hostage by DOCTOR BRAIN BENDER, the evil neuroscientist.
Minty then fights her way up various perverse floors of Doctor Brain Bender’s paranormal building to rescue Big Boss. Several unusual villains stand in her way: CAPTAIN CAPABILITY, a freak of nature; SENSATIONAL NINJA, an effeminate assassin; RAT MONSTER, a depressed mutant; BRUCE ZEE, a psycho martial artist; MOLLY LEVIATHAN, a sensual super vixen; ZEN COWBOY, a blindfolded gunslinger; and DOUBLE DELICIOUS, an intellectual lesbian vampire.
Throughout this wild odyssey, Minty educates her adversaries on the fascinating world of natural science and then uses her beauty, her brains, and pure brutality to demonstrate the biological theory of the survival of the fittest.
Minty: The Assassin is an artsy indie film that honors the wonderful B-movies that pushed the boundaries of American cinema. It pays homage to the underrated and respects the soul of what makes B-movies entertaining; instead of being restricted by a convoluted storyline, Minty: The Assassin focuses on characters -- outrageous personalities that say and do some really unconventional things. You'll see a mutant rambling on about Carl Sagan's view on the cosmic evolution of our universe and lesbians having foot-sex in a restaurant as they discuss Charles Darwin's scientific theory on emotion. It's a nerdcore cult film featuring arthouse action scenes that will pump you up with real ultimate power and make you ponder the meaning of life.